Great lies of advertising and what they really mean

I advertising we don't always say what we mean. Here is something to help you understand things better. Do let me know ones you'd like to add.

1. We want to use advertising to build the brand

We haven’t got any real point of difference and can’t be bothered to dig deeper so it’s down to the creative. Also “This is a creative challenge”.

2. Our main aim is to sell the product

Our reputation is based on peer recognition within the creative community. That’s what we care about. If we can sell some stuff at the same time that’s great.

3. We want edgy advertising

We are embarrassed that our advertising is so boring. So this time do something good. Of course it still has to beat the norms in the pre-test and we don’t want any e-mails to the president.

4. This will get talked about at the watercooler

Yeah. Only if it’s your watercooler. Seriously how many ads get talked about each year – 4 or 5? Is yours one of them?

5. I really love this idea but I’d like to save it for next year.

I hate it.

6. We’re switching budget to online/WOM/PR

I don’t know if it’ll do any good – I certainly can’t measure it - but its way cool, and besides head office (in the US) won’t interfere.

7. This will make a great viral campaign.

We know there’s no hope of you buying it for traditional advertising. But you’re less picky with online stuff. Meanwhile see 4 above – how many online things have you forwarded to friends that aren’t done by someone you know?

8. This is a totally original idea

Except for the campaign from Thailand I saw in Communications Arts.

9. It’s totally on brief

I actually only looked at the brief this morning when preparing for this meeting. But if I say it’s on brief are you going to call me a liar?

10. Research proves …

I don’t really care what the research says but I know it better than you so you’d better agree with me.

11. Consumer Insights Department

The market research department were unhappy with their low status so they rebranded themselves. c.f. alternate names for account planners and media planners.

12. It sold bucketloads

I don’t really care how successful it was in business terms but I know I’m supposed to, so I’ll say it did without bothering to look up the details.